Addendum

My buddy asked me why I am so angry in my last two post. So now I'm telling you why in the exact words that I used...


I'm sick & tired of trying to defend civil servants everytime I meet my friends or balik kampung or meet my relatives. Everytime some foul-up is highlighted in the media, penat aku nak kena defend. Sampai aku rasa cam aku ni PRO kerajaan tak bertauliah. Even dengan semi-government macam doctors or lecturers pun aku kena bambu jugak. Nak marah depa balik, tak boleh sebab memang dah salah some of civil servants. Tapi public bukannya nak kisah either it's SOME civil servants or ALL civil servants. Bila nampak je ada salah, yang gets blamed are civil servants in general. Sikit sangat di kalangan public yang can differentiate between the actions of some and the actions of all. That's why I'm so angry.

Don't be stupid

My last post was angry in nature. Yes, it was angry. But I shall not apologize to anyone for it. Stupidity pisses me off, because that stupidity affects other people. I have always been a firm believer of ultimate judgement by our Maker. As such, I have no problems at all with what some people perceive as "wrong". I mean, if a person does something wrong, then that is between him or herself and Allah. To me, mere mortals have no business trying to police everyone else, just like no one nation should try to be the "superpolice" of the whole world. So, whatever the hell that you choose to do, it's your business. Yes, it's your business, PROVIDED whatever you do does not adversely affect other living things. By that, I mean you can do whatever you want, as long as other people or animals or plants are not harmed, threatened, hurt, damaged, killed or anything else which is undesirable. As such, if you want to jump off a building or cross the path of a speeding train or try to down a gallon of weedkiller, go ahead. As long as there are no grieving wives or husbands or children or parents or friends that you leave in your wake. You can go ahead and have promiscuous sex with a gazillion women, as long as you don't hurt their feelings. You can go ahead and steal a billion bucks from a bank, as long as nobody has to suffer elevated theft insurance premiums after that. And yes, you can walk around in Alamanda during office hours, proudly portraying your ID tags or nametags, AS LONG AS THE PUBLIC DOES NOT THINK LOWLY OF CIVIL SERVANTS FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

So, you see, you can do whatever stupid things you want. But don't drag others down with your stupidity.

Please, change

A week or so ago, I received an email containing a scanned letter of complaint addressed to the Chief Secretary of the Government. The complainant was angry to see that there were quite a few civil servants in Alamanda during office hours, especially between the hours of 1200 and 1500.

I have to agree with the writer. As it is, I am on study leave, so I have a lot of free time in my hand. As such, I usually have my lunch at Alamanda almost every day, if I am in Putrajaya. Sadly, visions of Government officers and staff loitering around Alamanda during office hours is rampant, to say the least. They'll be walking around or sitting at McD or KFC or Pizza Hut or God knows where else, happily yakking away with their Government ID tags proudly flashed on their bodies.

Besides Alamanda, civil servants also frequent the numerous mamak restaurants, Taman Warisan, food courts and so on. Why do I say so? Because besides Alamanda, I also frequent these other places, usually for breakfast. There, you'll see numerous Government vehicles parked outside, and even more Government staff sitting and eating and having a merry time, oblivious to the eyes of the public.

Some of you might think I think of myself as so high and mighty, complaining about others while I am on study leave, "wasting" the Government's money. To you, I say: too bad. Getting a scholarship for study leave is not as easy as you might think. I worked my ass off to get this scholarship. I give it my best most of my time, so that at the end of each year, I get an assessment mark of at least 80%. Those of you who know me personally would agree that I'm not the bodek type. Far from it, you'll know that I have fought with almost all of my bosses before, but they still give me good assessments. Fortunately for me, my bosses so far have been professional in their dealings. Although I fought with them, they know that I do a good job and my arguments have ALWAYS been for what I think is right. So yes, right now I am enjoying myself. Why shouldn't I be? After all, it is the semester break and I don't have any assignments due anymore. So what if I spend my time in mamak restaurants, Taman Warisan, food courts or Alamanda? I'm on leave, remember?!

I have always been a stickler for rules and regulations. If I arrive at the office late, I better have a damn good explanation for my tardiness. I don't go out of the office without permission. Even if I have to go to the bank or such, I make sure I fill up the relevant forms, get permission from my supervisors, and make sure I come back to the office within the 2-hour time limit. Yes, for those of you who are not aware of this, there IS such a form. You can go out of the office up to a maximum of two hours to settle pressing matters, but if you expect it to last for more than two hours, you're advised to take leave for the day instead. I live by those rules. And I expect everyone else to do the same. If everybody adheres to laws, rules and regulations, there would be so much less pain and injustice in this world.

I'm being side-tracked here. What I wanted to talk about is about how the public perceives the civil servants. I mean, you can't blame the public if they bad-mouth civil servants. Not with this portrayal of stupidity on the civil servants' part. I mean, even if you absolutely, positively, alarmingly HAVE to go to Alamanda during office hours, can't you at least take out your ID tags and name tags and leave them in your purse or handbags or pants pockets? Do you absolutely, positively, alarmingly HAVE to proudly portray them while you make a fool of yourselves and tarnish your fellow law-abiding civil servants' image at the same time? Come on lah, don't be stupid. Better yet, why don't you just stay in your office and work like what you're supposed to do.

Okay, I might not be fair if I put a blanket judgement to ALL of you walking around in Alamanda or wherever. I can forgive those of you who come from outside Putrajaya for meetings or events here. Most probably, either you arrived early and are just killing time before your meeting/event, or you've finished your meeting/event and are stopping by to have lunch or tea or whatever before heading back to your department. Those of you, especially driving into Alamanda with crests proclaiming Lembaga Kemajuan Perikanan Terengganu, Politeknik Ungku Omar, Lembaga Kemajuan Pelancongan Johor or such on their vehicles, it's obvious that you're here on business and just visiting Alamanda for a while. I can also forgive those of you who go to Alamanda to buy supplies for your office. Maybe your department is organising something and you have run out of decorative stationary or there's an ad hoc visit from some foreign dignitaries and you need to get some special food that your caterers are not able to supply on short notice. I don't even mind those of you who already got permission from your supervisors to go out using the form that I mentioned. After all, Alamanda does have a bank and post office in them, and you might have an urgent need to go to AM Islamic Banking, Alamanda Branch or the post office there. But what irks me most if I see cars with Kementerian Perdagangan dan Hal Ehwal Pengguna or Kementerian Tenaga, Air dan Komunikasi or Ibu Pejabat Kementerian Kesihatan cars parked in Alamanda or outside mamak restaurants during office hours. To me, that is melampau.

People, wake up and change! Takkan la nak tunggu sampai KSN suruh buat spot-check kat Alamanda baru nak berenti kot? Pakai la otak sikit, bukannya budak kecik nak diingatkan berkali-kali. Bila public kutuk, nak marah balik. Bila PM tegur, nak jauh hati. Bila boss marah, nak melenting. Bila buat salah sendiri, langsung tak ingat. Bodoh!

There's nothing diplomatic about this entry? Again I say: too bad...

Of Injustice and Type A Personalities...

This is going to be an unusually long entry. The preamble itself is going to take over an hour of typing, before I get to the actual story. So, here’s the preamble…

Yesterday I dropped by at my old office. No particular reason, just that at times I'd just come over to see if I have any new mail or anything else that might be important. Nothing for me yesterday, so I went around to all my previous divisions where I'd been attached for the past six years or so.

As usual, I'd make my ritualistic stop at the HR Division, since that was where I served longest and that was also where I learnt stuff the most. After making sure that all my service matters were in order, I hung around with my colleagues. One of them had an interesting story to relate to me. He narrated what happened to him and another co-worker and asked for my opinion on stuff. As we were sitting outside the office talking about his issue, another person came by from the neighbouring division. He asked me whether I've heard the so-called "shocking" news of how one of my friends got a "shocking" promotion. But to fully deliver the impact of the so-called "shocking" promotion, I gotta give you some background info about the Government promotions system.

[Start Background Info]

A freshly-appointed officer to the Government usually starts with his/her scheme abbreviation followed by his/her grade. For example, a Systems Analyst brought into service at an officer level would be an F41, the F being the abbreviation for his/her scheme of service (Information Technology) and the 41 being the entrance grade for his/her position. Under the Skim Saraan Malaysia (SSM) or the Malaysian Remuneration Scheme, anybody hoping for a promotion in grade would have to successfully make the grade in Penilaian Tahap Kecekapan (PTK) or Competency Level Assessment. Now, the PTK is different for different schemes, but basically it is an exam-only or “exam-plus-coursework” kind of assessment. In theory, an officer who makes the grade in PTK, consistently achieve high marks in his/her yearly performance appraisal and, for-lack-of-a-better-word, is “acknowledged” by the organization (s)he works in, is eligible for promotion. Barring small differences for different schemes, an entry-level officer starts at grade 41, followed by grades 44, 48, 52 and 54.

In terms of promotions too, there are a few categories of promotion. The first one is called Khas Untuk Penyandang (KUP). There are two instances of KUPs, either paid (in very rare instances) or unpaid “promotion”. Usually, it’s the latter. In this instance, the officer is supposedly “promoted” but in actual fact, (s)he is just doing the work of a higher post without being paid anything extra. Not a single sen. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. The only thing you get is usually extra stress, less hair, extra wrinkles, less quality time with your family, extra reprimanding from your superiors…. you get my drift. Although to me this is a direct violation of existing Labour Laws or even simple common sense, it happens. Believe me, it happens a lot. It even happened to me at one time, but that’s a different story.

Okay, the next category of promotion is Memangku or sometimes called Pemangkuan. Same root word, same meaning. Here, the officer is gets extra stress, less hair, extra wrinkles, less quality time with your family, extra reprimanding from your superiors…. but gets paid extra for it all. Not to say that his/her actual salary is bigger, but (s)he gets the difference between the grade salaries as an extra allowance. Let’s say his/her F41 salary is $2000 and the salary of an F44 officer is $2800. In this case, the officer who gets the Pemangkuan is actually getting $2000 of his/her own salary, plus the difference as allowance ($800) to a grand total of $2800. So it seems like it’s a good deal, but it’s only good for short stints. Why, you might ask. Well, let’s keep the same scenario. Officer F41 is drawing a salary of $2000 in 2007. (S)he gets Pemangkuan in 2007, so for the rest of 2007, (s)he gets a monthly total of $2800, inclusive of the $800 Pemangkuan allowance. However, in 2008 (s)he gets a measly annual salary increment of $85. So his/her basic salary is now $2085. However, (s)he does NOT still get Pemangkuan allowance of $800. Remember, (s)he only gets the difference between the grade salaries. So in this case, (s)he is getting $2085 of basic salary, but her Pemangkuan allowance is now only $715 instead of the original $800. That, my friend, is why Pemangkuan for long periods of time is not such a great idea.

Finally, the last category of promotion is an actual, full-fledged promotion. Here, you get extra stress, less hair, extra wrinkles, less quality time with your family, extra reprimanding from your superiors…. plus getting the actual salary of the higher post/grade. But at least, you get actual annual increments based on your grade level. So basically, this is what a vast majority of us are looking for. However, in normal circumstances, you don’t come up to this kind of promotion just because you’ve already made the grade in PTK, consistently achieve high marks in your annual performance appraisal and acknowledged by your organization. Even after you’ve achieved these three criteria, what you can hope for is to get KUP first, followed by Memangku of at least six months, and finally, Insya-Allah, you get the actual promotion. [End Background Info] I warned you it’s gonna be a long entry ;)

Okay, finally we get to the actual story that I want to relate. If I’ve lost you by now, flashback to “shocking” news about “shocking” promotion over a hundred lines above. Anyway, the news is one of my friends got a promotion. Nothing shocking there, but here’s the deal. Her actual grade is 44. Right now, she’s Memangku 48. That means she’s getting the difference between her 44 salary and the 48 salary. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But at the same time, she is also KUP 52. That means, although her real grade is 44, she’s bypassed one grade above i.e. 48, to go straight to 52. This is strange, because this kind of scenarios is not usual. What is even more unusual is that there are already quite a few people more senior than her, who are actually due to be promoted to 52, who got bypassed. Naturally, this would piss some people off. Because if either one of these more senior people were put at that post, (s)he would not get KUP but actually get Memangku and got paid for it since they are already due for promotion. So this guy who came to me was one of the people who were due for promotion, and he was not happy with the whole fiasco. He kept blaming the poor girl who actually got the KUP for bypassing him and many others. You see, this guy is a Type A personality. The go-getter type, the always-on-the-move-trying-to-get-higher-posts-and-higher-pay kind of person. And he was ranting and fuming to me, relating this story of how unfair the whole thing is.

Eventually, I got angry at the whole thing and started my retort to him. First, I asked him why he was so angry at her. He said that she’s still a junior and she shouldn’t bypass that many people. So I knocked some sense into him. I said, if I were offered that position, even if I were paid handsomely for it, I’d hightail out of there as soon as I can. The post in question is the “hottest” post around. The person in charge of that particular post is basically in charge of over 70% of the Ministry’s annual budget! It’s the make-or-break kind of post, the so-called biggest reason of the Ministry being there in the first place. Forgive me, but I’m not up to it. I don’t want to haul my ass up to the Minister’s office at his every whim and fancy. I don’t want to have to explain why progress is slow for certain projects. I don’t want to be compelled to have my mobile switched on 24 hours a day and answer questions about projects in the middle of the night or during weekends or when I’m taking a crap. That’s not for me, thank you very much please. So I asked him, is that what he really wants for an increase of income of about $1k? Is that really worth all the shit that you have to deal with?

He mellowed down a bit, but it wasn’t over yet for him. He changed tactics. He now attacked the HR Division for proposing her name to the top management. Again, I had to make him understand how things are run there. First, I gave a disclaimer. I said, what I’m about to say has got nothing to do with the fact that I was in the HR division before. I said, as far as I can remember, the HR Division has always been objective in proposing people for promotions. The way they work is to take into account all factors: qualification, adherence to current laws and practices, competency, seniority and so on. But at the same time, the final say has always been with the top management, not the HR manager. Because in the end, the name submitted to JPA would carry one person’s signature and one person only, and that would be the Pegawai Pengawal of the Ministry, the Secretary-General. Not the HR Manager, not the HR officers. So, I said, who actually is to be blamed here? Is it the officer who got the so-called promotion? Is it the HR Division? Is it the Secretary-General? Or is there any one party that deserves blame in the first place? Is blaming other people the last resort? That question shut him up for a while. But he mumbled something about the whole thing not being fair. Again, I had to retort. Of course injustice will occur when it comes to human dealings. As long as the power to decide resides in one person, there would always be casualties. As long as decisions are made not through musyawarah or an actual, functional council of minds, injustice will prevail.

It's 16:54 and I'm tired. I've been at this since 14:00 and I need a break.

to be continued

What's up, Doc?

Wow! Time sure knows how to whizz by, huh? Give it another week or so, then I'd be "absent" here for 2 months. I know, my bad...

Okay, so what's been happening? If you read my last post, I registered at UKM on the 3rd of July. But my classes didn't start until the 12th. As it is, I could only take up two classes this semester coz the other classes weren't offered until next semester. Anyway, the two classes that I'm taking this semester are "Introduction to Psychology" and "Research Methodology", both of which I'd already done during my undergrad days. I could appeal and ask for exemptions for both these courses, but that would mean I can only register for classes next semester. That means I'd have to go back to work for another 5 months or so. Something that I'd never do, not if I can help it. By right, I should have been granted automatic exemption from these 2 papers, but why should I have to suffer because of some other people's foul up? I don't care, I'm taking these two papers even if some people callously accuse me of wasting time and the Government's money unnecessarily. I mean, who the f**k do they think they are, going around judging me like that?

So how's student life? It's pure heaven, I tell you. It's a far cry from my undergraduate days, with money stretched to the limit and schedule packed to the brim at times. I mean, this semester I only have four hours of classes, no tutorials, and in the past 2 months or so, I only have been given one measly assignment. ONE! I finished that in less than 2 hours, even though we were given about a week to finish it. Granted, my mid-semester test will be in less than 3 weeks, but that will only cover about five topics. I'm not saying it's gonna be a breeze, but I hardly think it's something to lose sleep over. So, what actually HAVE I been doing?

The first month or so, I've been enjoying myself to the fullest. I watched movie after movie, bowled my hands sore, raked up the mileage on the car. Heck, I watched more movies in the first three weeks compared to the past three years! But eventually, the novelty wears out after a while. Even the Internet and X-Box lost their appeal to me. So in the end, I just stayed at home. And now, I'm in the midst of planning little projects to keep me going. For starters, I've started cooking. I bought a thick recipe book and I've started cooking for dinner. Nothing fancy, just normal everyday cooking with a dash of recklessness, I reckon. The first time I tried cooking, it took me about 5 hours to prepare dinner. Eventually, now it's down to just over three hours. I've taken short cuts to the everyday humbug of cooking, like blending onions, chillies, garlic et cetera and putting them in small plastic containers so that I don't have to spend hours just preparing the essentials for every meal.

My next project would be to upgrade my sister's PC. She wants to convert her PC into a gaming machine, so essentially some core components need to be upgraded. I've had her PC for about two weeks now, but I'm only going to open it up tomorrow 'coz I haven't been much in the mood to tinker with minute parts in the PC. So that should keep me busy at least until the end of the month.

My third project would be to upgrade my X-Box's hard disk. Right now it's got something like 10Gb, but it's very much lacking in terms of keeping my favourite games. So I got me an 80Gb disk, but still haven't figured out the instructions on how to change the X-Box disk. I guess that can wait till next month, though.

Anyway, anybody got any ideas what I should do after my third project? I'd like to write a bit about my cat and my Streamyx, but let's not overdo it for my first posting in weeks, shall we?

Day 1

Here I am, sitting in front of an almost empty page, trying to think of what to write. I guess I should start with what happened on Day 1 then...

Yesterday I arrived at PPS at 0845 to start my experience as an old mahasitua in UKM. When I got at the counter, it was not opened yet, so I just hung around waiting for it to be manned. After a while, someone came and opened the counter. 1st order for the day, get a queue number. I got number 5015 and a sheet of paper saying that the briefing for new students will start at 0900. Strange, coz in the letter they sent me indicated that the briefing should start at 1100. So I filled in some relevant forms and waited for my number to be called. A short while later, there seemed to be some commotion going on. I went to see what was happening. The lady who manned the counter was making a fuss, saying that we could not register yet as we haven't listened to the briefing, as such we couldn't register the courses that we're supposed to take for the semester. Some of the new students were just standing there looking dumbfounded and not knowing exactly what to do. So I took out the literature they sent us and told the lady that according to the flow indicated, we were supposed to register FIRST, then go for the briefing at our respective faculties. I showed them what we received. The lady then make another ruckus, taking the stuff I gave her and asking her colleagues around as the schedule that they have was different to what the students have. That there's an example of Malaysian-style miscommunication for you! Anyway, they finally allowed us to register ourselves first before continuing with course registration after the briefing by the faculty. Since it was quite a while before briefing starts, I went to Pusanika to have my breakfast. There I met a few of my friends who did our QA in INTAN in January. As 1100 inched its way in, I left Pusanika for the briefing room.

The briefing was done at one of the lecture halls. There were quite a number of us around. My guestimate is that there were around 60+ people in the hall. Then the briefing started with a brief intro about the faculty and the staff. Seems that one of my colleagues is now a staff there and on study leave for her PhD. I guess one of these days she'll be my lecturer :) During the course of the briefing, there were at least 10 people who came in late. I don't blame them. Our letter said that the briefing will be at PPS, but was changed to this lecture hall. That's a distance of at least one kilometer between them, and some of these students have never set foot on UKM grounds before so it's understandable that they came in late, what more if they just arrived at PPS circa 1100 and suddenly found out they changed the venue. Me, I already called up PPS last week to confirm the venues of registration and briefing so I got an early warning that the briefing would be at a different place. Anyway, the briefing ended with a QA session and most of the questions were expected questions. Towards the end, they told us to go back to PPS to continue with course registration and that should be the end of Day 1 for us. And since it was nearing 1300, I thought I'd just grab a quick lunch and at 1400 go back to PPS for the course registration.

I then went to Billion Bangi. First thought of having lunch at one of the restaurants there, but it was full to the brim. So ended up patronising KFC there instead. After Dzuhur, went back to PPS. This time, had to park at world's end and walk in the hot Malaysian sun. When I got to the lab, I logged on and tried to register for my courses. Imagine my surprise that NONE of the courses I was supposed to take were offered! So I consulted the people there but they were not much help. They asked me to go to the PPS office upstairs and meet up with one of the staff there. So up I went, and after waiting in queue for about 20 minutes, finally met with the staff mentioned. Seems that my courses were faculty courses and that PPS has no authority to add them in the course list. So I had to go back to the faculty and register manually there. Bummer!

For the second time today, I had to drive back to the faculty and fight my way for a parking space. Luckily for me one car drove out of one just as I was approaching the faculty, so swiftly was I in manoeuvring into the space before anyone else grabbed it. When I reached the faculty, thankfully there were no other students there so I managed to get the staff there immediately. When I related the problem to her, she was surprised that our courses were not offered. So she made a few phone calls and finally found out that another Malaysian-styled miscommunication had happened and ALL faculty courses were not listed in the system yet. She frantically made more phone calls to rectify the mistake, but eventually was told that the courses would ONLY be included after 1700 today. She was profusely apologetic with the foul-up and was EXTRA helpful with my demands then on. I made her check which ones of my courses would be offered this semester, made her get me the timetables, lecturer names and numbers and so on. Eventually, I found out that out of the six pre-requisite courses that I have to take, only two were being offered this semester. As such, my classes would be Mondays 1600 - 1800 and Thursdays 1000 - 1200. That means at other times, I'd be free. Another bummer! I was hoping to take at least four courses this semester and the remaining in the next semester. Or at least take three courses each semester to even out the workload. But seems that it's not going according to my plans.

Anyway, I then decided to take my medical report & x-ray to the health centre. Crazy, ain't it? By right, they should take everything when we register, but here you have to surrender different documents at different places. As such, students would have to embark on an amazing race sort of thing. Regardless, I managed to find my way around (it helps that I stayed in UKM for almost two years back in 1998 - 2000). When I handed in my medical report & x-ray,the nurse there looked at my report and asked me to see a doctor there and then because I was truthful in my form declaration. So she gave me a queue number and left me there to wait yet again. When my turn finally came, I went into Room 2 to find this foreign doctor. After chatting up with him for about 15 minutes about my health history, I was finally allowed to go back. And go back I did. Arrived home at 1740, just as if I were still working. But what the heck, the day was finally almost over.

That night, after dinner I came back and logged on to UKM website for my course registration. Lo and behold! My courses were finally in the list. A quick click here and there, and I am now officially a student with classes beginning next Monday :)

And that, my friends, was my account of what happened on Day 1...

Something to look forward to

I guess this would be my shortest post ever except for my maiden post, but what the heck...

If my leave for Monday is approved, tonight would be the last time I'm going to iron my work clothes for the next couple of years.

Just thinking about it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside...

Break Time!

I'm taking a break. A break from my silence. Sorry 1na, this post isn't about Dato'shi*s yet. I'll come to that in a later post. But for now, I'm taking a break from my hectic last days here.

I finished my PTK course on the 15th of June 2007. But even before that, I already got a call from the office saying that I have to give a tender briefing in JKR Bera on the 19th of June. Fine, this should be a new experience for me. I thought I'd slowly ease myself out of my work in preparation for my continuing studies. So on the 18th, I got to the office and prepared some materials for the briefing the next day. That morning, too, I received my much awaited package from Singapore. Finally, my GPS receiver has arrived! After loading the relevant maps onto my PDA, I set out in the project car to Bera. Someone told me that getting there via Negeri Sembilan is shorter. So at 1400 hours, I started my journey with the help of my trusty old PDA and my spanking new GPS.

Since I needed to get there as soon as possible, I set for the shortest route possible. Almost immediately my PDA started instructing me on which roads to venture, which turning to take. However, the shortest route didn't turn out to be the fastest, since it took me thru Seremban town and all the back roads, all the way to Bera. To cut a long story short, I arrived in JKR Bera at 1730 hours. Thankfully the people waiting for me there were still around. After doing a quick survey of the project site and the briefing room, I was again on the roads, heading towards Temerloh. Yes, there were hotels in Bera but the Bera District Officer suggested that I put up a night in Temerloh instead. So the hotel reservation in Bera was cancelled and eventually I arrived at the recommended hotel in Temerloh instead. After jama' Maghrib + Isya', I thought of going over my briefing notes, but my eyelids felt they were tied to 5 kg dumbbells. So off I went to lullaby-land but woke with a start to unfamiliar surroundings at 0100. Terkebil-kebil sekejap, trying to figure out where I was. Eventually it came back to me and I fired up my laptop. Konon-kononnya nak start on my PTK individual assignment. But then I realised that all my notes were in another bag in my car, safely parked at the basement of Block D9. So instead, I looked through the tender documents, trying to figure out the scope of work needed. After about an hour, I gave up and decided to go back to slumberland.

The next morning, I woke up at 0600 hours. By 0700, I was ready to go. Half an hour of breezy traffic-free driving later, I was at a restaurant in front of JKR Bera, contemplating on what to eat but daring not to eat anything heavy. By 0845, I was already parked in front of JKR Bera office and unloading my stuff.

The briefing was slotted to start at 1000. The session started off with the District Engineer welcoming the contractors who came and giving a brief introduction of the history of the project. The time came and I delivered the brief briefing. Now, for the moment of truth: Q&A time. I braced myself for a salvo of unanswerable questions. Instead, the questions stumped me in a very different way. I mean, they were asking me about what a push-button was? Or the definition of "sealed envelopes". And definition of cost materials? And they call themselves C-Class contractors? Heck, I was expecting something to the tune of what's cut-off pricing or tender evaluation norms or the likes. THIS is what I was having dragonflies in my tummy for? I might as well just have that big breakfast I was afraid to have earlier!

Anyway, the next agenda was the site visit. There was a slight hiccup in plans, since one of the project sites was closed because they had a Pekan Sehari thingy. So we ended up going to just one of the project sites. There, I gave them another briefing about the scope of the actual work needed, and half an hour later we all parted ways. The JKR Technical Assistant then suggested that we have lunch first. So another half hour and we were comfortably seated, waiting for lunch to arrive. After lunch, it was time to head back home.

Anyway, back at the office the next day, I still hadn't started on my PTK assignment. At the same time, I got another assignment at hand. Seems I had to attend a working meeting at Concorde Shah Alam the next day. It was a 3-day working meeting, to prepare a proposal for a huge change in the Ministry. I grudgingly went, since it had nothing to do with my job scope but since there were nobody else available, I had to go.

So on Thursday afternoon, I was driving towards Shah Alam. Tangan menggatal nak pakai GPS lagi, but the route plotted was soooo illogical. I mean, from Putrajaya going towards Puchong towards Motorola towards Batu Tiga to the hotel? That's just absurd! But what the heck, I'll give a chance for the software to add to its so-called "fuzzy learning", so that it learns something new.

After checking into the hotel, I realised that I haven't shaved for days. Also, my hair is now taking the persona of Ronald McDonald. So I walked over to the shopping complex next to the hotel to get a haircut. But after walking around and asking people around, I learnt that there were no Indian barber shops around, only multiple hair salons. *Sigh* I guess I'll have to fork out over RM20 to get a haircut, then. So, which one shall I choose? After peering into one hair salon to another, I came to the conclusion that most hair salons there were operated by transgender operators, all except one. I've never had my hair cut by a pair of female hands before. At least not as far as I can remember. But this time, I'll make an exception. So I entered this one salon which doesn't look as shady-looking as the rest, if you catch my drift. Looking at the prices... *gulp*. Again, I'm making an exception. So I braced myself for a new experience...

The girl with the nose ring asked: "Abang nak potong camane?" I looked at her, looked at my reflection in the mirror, and said: "Potong pendek je lah. Rambut cam McDonald ni bukannya boleh buat fesyen apa pun." So she started working on my hair. And true to nature, I dozed off. The thing about me is that EVERY time I get a haircut, I'd get sleepy. So sleepy that I'd actually doze off but sitting stiff as a tree trunk. Next thing I knew, she said: "Bilas rambut ye?" Being the ignorant fool that I am, I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought she was just reminding me to wash my hair after I get back, so I just sat there, looking at my reflection in the mirror. So she said again: "Bilas rambut ye?" So I nodded, still looking at the mirror, thinking to myself, is it done already? And for the third time, and this time gesturing to another part of the shop, she said: "Abang, nak bilas rambut sekarang ni kat sini." Alamak, malunya aku..... It was soooo obvious that I've never been to a hair salon before....

Anyway, I sheepishly walked over to the other side to get my hair washed and rinsed. That done, I walked back to my original seat and sat there, unsure of what's going to happen next. Then the girl came by and dried my hair before applying some sort of cream or something and kind of styled my hair. Once done, I looked back in the mirror and found myself thinking: not bad jugak what she's done to my hair. So I paid her an exorbitant amount of moolah and walked back to the hotel. And again, being the ignorant fool that I am, the first thing I did when I got back to the room was to take a shower. And you've guessed it: GONE was what she did to my hair. What's left was my usual hair after a shampoo: dry, dead-looking and removed of any sense of style whatsoever. But again, what the heck! My aim was not to have stylish hair, but to have a haircut. I achieved that, didn't I?

Let's not talk about the work done at the meeting but instead focus on the food now, shall we? The food at the hotel was, simply put, fabulous! It was wonderful. I really helped myself to all the 'sinful' food. Heaps of prawns, bowl after bowl of crab soup, at least 6 scoops of ice-cream per meal. Memang makan tak ingat dunia & akhirat.

So what happened after the 3-day meeting? Let's just say I couldn't agree with the direction of the meeting. A lot can be said about it, but I'll refrain from saying anything bad about it. Put it this way, to me my only achievement after 3 days was me stuffing myself silly with food. What's next, you might ask? Well, it's my body's payback time, what else!

Saturday night, the signs crept in. First, it was just a numb sensation. Then it crescendoed into a full-fledged, hair-pulling, jaw-locking, fist-banging-on-the-wall pain at my left leg. Hello Mr. Gout! Long time no feel. Like I said, it's payback time. All the uric acid in the food has crystallized in my leg, resulting in an oh-if-only-I-could-hack-off-my-leg-and-throw-it-away kind of sensation. By Sunday night, I was crawling instead of walking. But determined not to take any more painkiller jabs, I gritted my teeth and just had to bear it. I ODed on my gout medication and it seemed to help a bit. Monday came and I went to see my doctor, with the assistance of a cane. Got a 2-day MC. And since I was already on MC, I took the opportunity to get my medical check-up done for my admission into UKM. Thank God for automatic transmission! And today, although I could somewhat walk slowly, I still didn't go to the office. Instead, I went to JPA to drop off the documentations for my scholarship and to CIMB to open a new account as per JPA's request. And after Maghrib just now, I finally started on my PTK assignment, with now just hours away from the deadline. But I'm not worried. As of right now, I'm already into my 5th page, and I still have a lot of ideas. I think by 0400 hours, I'll be done with it and the only thing left is some minor editing.

So I guess now you understand why I said I needed a break. Obviously, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a full-fledged professional procrastinator. Even in the wee hours of the morning, I'm still hacking away at this blog entry instead of my assignment. Pathetic, isn't it...

Mixed Feelings

This might very well be my last post.












































Yes, you read it right. My last post.







































Well, at least until I get back from my 10-day PTK course anyway. I'm looking forward to going for this course. At least I'll be out of the office for 10 days. But at the same time, I think I've never been this unprepared for such a big occasion. At least my last PTK exam, I did read up a bit the day before. Not much, but turned out the stuff I was reading were the things that came out in the exams. But this time, I haven't read up on anything at all. Not only that, It's been ages since I read the newspapers. Neither have I been watching the news. Just feel like most of the news only serve to deceive, inveigle and obfuscate. So I must say that I'm totally unprepared for the next 10 days. But what the heck, if I can't get through it, at least I'm going for the experience.

I actually have something to say, but as I have to start my journey at 0630 tomorrow, I think I better call it a night. Some say I can afford to leave the house at 0700, but I'm not taking any chances. I prefer waking early, leaving at 0630, arriving there before 0700 and waiting the rest of the morning than going thru the morning traffic. So, au revoir for now...

Am I Sure This Is Me?

35 years, 2 months and 4 days after I was born, I came to realise something that never really occurred to me before: I hate losing. Strange as it might seem, the fact remains that I never realised this before. True, at school I got irked whenever someone beat me in squash (especially when you've played a good two hours in Ramadhan month, only to be beaten) or could hold their breath underwater longer than I could (I used to be able to hold my breath underwater the longest among my classmates, at least until Form Four) or beat me at chess (I never was a good chess player, and I never will be anyway) or stuff like that, but I think it never bothered me before like how it bothers me now whenever I lose in a game or stuff. I guess I have changed a lot since my school days or my college days. Coz last night, I really hated the fact that I lost two games of Magic to the Crovens.

I first learned to play Magic a few weeks ago. At the time, I didn't mind losing, coz hey, you can't expect to be good only after a few games. Our next two Magic meets too were acceptable, as I take it in my stride to me still in the learning curve. But last night, when I was finally comfortable with one particular deck, and when I can safely say that I've managed to somewhat grasp the whole idea of the game, I was beaten by Psych & Mrs. Croven. I was particularly agonised when Mrs. Croven beat me. I was sooooooo sure that I'd win the game. I had two cards in play that seemed to guarantee that each turn, I'd gain life or each opponent's attack would kill them off slowly while adding more life to me. But alas, both cards were pretty useless with the tactic employed by Mrs. Croven. And it bugs me so, that I didn't win.

But that was last night. What bugged me last night was the fact that I lost the games. What bugs me today, however, is the realisation that I hate losing. The realisation that I have this competitive streak in me which directly affects my mood when I lose at something. Because to me, a little competitive spirit is okay... but not to the extent of keeping me awake half the night, going thru a play-by-play of what went wrong. That... that's just not healthy. Coz a game is supposed to be just that: a game. Something to promote fun, interaction and camaraderie among friends and players. Unless of course if there's a USD $10,000 cash prize at stake, then it's a different ballgame altogether.

Anyway, if you're reading this, Psych & Mrs. Croven, just ignore it. I've just got issues to deal with. I enjoyed the game, just didn't like the losing part :(

Better wages but worse lifestyle, anyone?

I was on my daily morning routine of reading up on friends' writings when I came across Ayu's post regarding the announced pay hike for civil servants. She mentioned that she's green with envy with the hike, and assumed that people like moi are, in her own words, "smiling ear to ear". So, was I really smiling ear to ear? Or did the announcement have absolutely zero impact on me? Or in fact, it had a NEGATIVE impact on me?

Ayu rightly pointed out that civil servants' wages have always been low. Even with this hike, they're still comparatively low. Last night, I had dinner with the Crovens and Psych was quite surprised that I haven't reached 2.5k yet when I told him that I still didn't have to pay income tax for last year. Yes, my pay is still low. Compared to my peers, i.e. in the "ancient" age groups, I'm barely touching 2.5k now while they have surpassed the 5k mark a looong time ago. Heck, one of my friends is even chauffeur-driven in his spanking new Beemer while another friend is one of the top guns in Malaysia Airlines. But that is when I'm comparing to one extreme of the range. If I were to compare myself to the other extreme, then I should be thanking my lucky stars that I'm even employed in the first place. But I'm digressing here...

Anyway, my point is this: Civil servants have always had low pay. But expectations on them have been steadily increasing. Right now, civil servants are blasted left, right, centre, front, back, top and bottom. For a "PM who himself was a passionate civil servant during his younger days", he sure isn't cutting any slacks when he bombards civil servants. Way I see it, any weakness in delivery system is NOT solely on the part of civil servants. As in my previous post, the private sector too has to buck up and get in shape. What more since they command a better lifestyle in terms of monetary gains. If you don't agree with me, then consider this incident that happened last week: I was in a whole day meeting, and we engaged this caterer to prepare the food for the meeting. We had lunch & afternoon tea prepared since the meeting started at 0900 and ended at 1900. That's a 10-hour meeting with only break time for lunch and prayers of less than an hour. And guess what the caterer requested from me? They asked whether I could tell the Chairman to finish the meeting by 1730 because they "had to clean up before leaving". So what I said to the caterer was: "Look, if we can work long hours, so can you. We are the paying customer, so you work according to our schedule and not the other way around," (of course, in Malay and not in English.) Come on, people! If the public sector can work long hours, even after the gazetted office hours, why can't the private sector do the same?! Obviously, this doesn't fit into the general public's misconseption that civil servants "only work from 0830 to 1700". And believe me, this is not a one-off thing here. I've experienced more harrowing work conditions in my five years in the public sector as compared to my seven years in the private sector. I never had to work non-stop from 0700 till 0200, then wake up and start all over again when I was in the private sector. I never had to work for almost 20-straight days without a day off when I was in the private sector. I never had to only sleep 3 days at home while the rest of the month spent staying in multiple states. I never was expected to give an impromptu speech to a villageful of people expecting gems coming out of my mouth. (btw, I'm an extreme introvert by nature, as categorised by some psychological test online somewhere that I did.) Heck, the worst "public speaking" experience I had to go through was when I was a reporter for a local tv station when I had to do what they call as a "stand-upper". Even then, I just had to say something in front of the camera and I can redo it over and over again until I was satisfied. Again, I digress...

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is the pay hike is justified to SOME in the public sector. SOME of us are working our a$$ off, putting in long hours, getting high-blood pressure in the process. All for wages that I consider as measly at best. So the pay hike IS some sort of consolation to SOME of us. That is why I'm not smiling from ear to ear... because to me, we deserved it in the first place. You might not agree with me but that's how I see it anyway... The only people who MIGHT be smiling from ear to ear are those who DON'T deserve it in the first place. People who actually clock in just the minimum hours expected of them, slack off in their work but get by just fine coz they're buddies with the bosses. I don't blame them. Slackers will always be around, no matter in whatever culture or in whatever race or in whatever country. The people I DO blame are the bosses. Because they let these slackers off without so much of a warning, reprimand or gentle reminder. But that's a different story altogether...

Furthermore, I'm NOT smiling ear to ear because of the fact also mentioned by Ayu. The simple fact that traders will, and in fact, HAVE raised their prices waaay back from even before the pay hike was announced. Let's just do some simple basic calculations here. Example: (and I DO stress on the word EXAMPLE here) say flour prices have increased by 15 sen a kg. In turn, roti canai sellers increase the price of roti canai from 80 sen to 85 sen. For every roti canai he sells, he gets an extra 5 sen to offset the 15 sen flour price increase. So, in theory, after he sells 3 roti canais, he's covered his cost for purchasing one kg of flour. But does one kg of flour ONLY produce 3 roti canais? Does it produce 6? 9? 12? I don't know, you tell me. (I mean, I REALLY don't know how many roti canais can be produced using one kg of flour, this is NOT just a rhetoric question.) But let's just say for argument's sake that a kg of flour makes just ten roti canais although I highly doubt that. This means that using one kg or flour, he can make 10 roti canais x 85 sen per piece => 50 sen extra income - 15 sen flour price increase = 35 sen extra profit. Is this logical? Why does a 15 sen per kg flour price increase inadvertently translates to extra profit for the sellers but thousands of ringgit loss to consumers who buy roti canai everyday? If one seller were to sell just 100 roti canais a day, he's making a cool profit of RM3.50 per day. That is assuming that he just increased the price by 5 sen instead of the normal practice of increasing it in 10-sen increments. Maybe it's not much for one person, but for 100 sellers? 1,000? What about consumers' loss? Multiply that 1,000 sellers by 100 roti canais a day and multiply it further by 5 (or 10) sen, what do you get? That's a RM5k (or RM10k) loss of income, just because of a 15 sen flour price increase. And that, my friends, is just one item's price increase. Take into account if 10 items just got dearer. Or a hundred. Or 500 items. What does it do to the economy? Well, more money circulating in the market, obviously. A healthy economy, you might add. But is it something that will make me smile ear to ear? I seriously doubt so...

Customer (Dis)Service

Everybody appreciates good service, even those who work in the service industry themselves. But why is it that sometimes, they forget their reasons for existence in their organisations in the first place? Why is it that since their work is to serve customers, they fail to realise that their actions are continuously appraised not only by their supervisors but also by the customers they serve? Case in point as follows:

I went to Alamanda yesterday during lunchtime. A friend of mine was in the area and called me up for a lunch date. So all was well and dandy until we parted ways. He needed to go to KL while I had to go back to the office. But before I went back, I snuck into Carrefour to get some toiletries as well as to get the free parking. Since I didn't get many things, I went straight to the "10 items or less" or express lane queue. The normal registers had only one or two people in queue, but they were buying lots of stuff while the express lane had four people in the queue. I had two items, which I put on the counter just as the person in front of me was finished paying for his purchase. The guy behind me, who happens to be a Carrefour off-duty staff, had only one item, which he too put on the counter behind my stuff. Imagine my surprise and annoyance when the cashier nonchalantly took the Carrefour staff's purchase and continued to ring it into the register. I looked at him and asked, "Kenapa ambik barang customer belakang padahal saya dok ada kat depan?". To which, he replied a volcanic-eruption-inducing reply, "Tak apalah, satu je..." At this point, the customer-behind-me-whose-purchase-had-been-registered started to apologise to me. Which I thought was unnecessary, because it wasn't him who cut the queue but rather the cashier who chose to cut MY queue to attend to his colleagues purchase. "Okay," I said to myself, "don't let this get to you... Just let it go,.." all the while thinking that the cashier will apologise to me after seeing that his colleague doing so.

Guess what... he didn't say a thing... He just rung up my purchase, took my money, gave me the correct change and receipt and that was it! I stood there for a good 10 seconds looking at him, and he just pretended as if I were invisible. This is too much, so I went to the customer service counter and said that I wanted to lodge a complain against the cashier. I was referred to a supervisor and I related the incidence to her. So she gave me a form to fill up. While I was filling up the form, she stood next to me, all the while looking intently at what I was writing and effectively ignoring the chatter coming out of her walkie-talkie. Once I was done, I handed the form to her, to which she apologised on behalf of Carrefour and promised that such incidences would not be repeated in the future. Yeah, right... We'll just see... Maybe tomorrow I'll go there again to follow up on what (in)action will be taken in response to my lodged complain...

Why am I so pissed? Read my earlier post, especially my answer on Item 2 of the tag. Although many would retaliate in defense to what I would label as Malay mentality, these isolated incidences are the ones that give a bad impression to Malays. You see, I've seen and even experienced similar occurrences before, like the time when also at the express lane, some (Malay) idiots bring a trolleyful of stuff which were CLEARLY more than 10 items into the queue. When I gently reminded them that the lane was for customers making small purchases, they (the supposedly berbudi-bahasa, berhemah tinggi bangsa) just ignored me. But to further rub in salt to wound, even the (Malay) cashiers wouldn't dare say anything to them! And the same thing happened after that. Again, a (Malay) lady got into the queue with a basket filled to the brim. Again, this self-appointed promoter of justice pointed out the nature of the lane to this lady. This time she said, "Maaf ye, akak nak cepat ni". To which, this (Chinese) cashier said, "Maaf ye puan, baris ni untuk pembelian tak melebihi 10 barang saja. Puan boleh masuk queue sebelah sana," gesturing to the normal lane. Seeing that I had an ally on my side, the dejected lady mumbled something under her breath (which I don't give a damn anyway to whatever she might be saying) and parked her spot at the end of a longer queue.

Why do I have to relate these stories? Am I saying that the Malays are a useless bunch of people that I seemingly am prepared to denounce any association to them? Or am I just a sod who thinks too highly of other races? Does that make me an anti-racist, reason being I'm as if bashing my own race? Or maybe, just maybe... I want us to become better people instead? Maybe I want us to get out of the safety of the Bumiputera cocoon and see the world as it really is, a world where only the strongest will survive? A world where customers are increasingly aware of their rights and are no longer afraid to stand up for them? A service industry that really delivers what they're supposed to deliver? Think about it for a moment. Am I really doing what I seem to be doing? Am I really saying what I seem to be saying? To those of you keen on coming to the defense of the Malays, by all means do so. But please, I plead you. Think long-term, think survival, think of people's ever-rising expectations. Think of basic customer service, of some simple common sense?

Psych's Tag

Last night I went out for dinner with Mr. & Mrs. Croven at Secret Recipe Jusco Equine Park. As luck would have it, they chose the exact same seat I was at, the first time I came to Jusco Equine Park. Sat at the same seat, had a similar view of the happenings outside. Brought back memories I didn't want to remember. Nonetheless, had a great time talking about anything and everything, both about the corporeal world and in blogosphere. We also reminisced about old times and old friends, but being the feeble-minded simpleton that I am, most of the time I was left with a blurred expression on my face for I couldn't recall many of the people nor incidences that were discussed.

Anyway, what surprised me wasn't the whole outing, but what was lurking in the depths of the Internet, waiting to pounce on me when I got back. For when I fired up my trusty Firefox and Psych's site came up, there was a tag that he created. Little did I realise that in a couple of moments, I'd be mentioned as one of the people that he intends to agacer with the tag. Oh well, I thought, I'd just do them tomorrow at the office...

So here goes...

1. How am I like my father (or fatherly figure)?

Besides wearing glasses, you mean? I guess there's not many things similar between the two of us. I can list out the things different about us, if you want. For instance, he's religious, I'm not. He's funny around people, I have a sense of humour only a stick would appreciate. He's a good footballer, I have legs of a stool. Oh, you mean I REALLY have to tell you how I'm like my father and not the opposite? Oh, okay... lemme think for a while.... Okay, got it! Both of us love old vehicles. My dad has an old Vespa as well as a vintage Toyota KE20. He loves them both. So do I. That's where we're similar. [Going off on a tangent here:] I first learnt to ride a bike using that Vespa, at the tender age of around 3,650 days old. When others were comfy riding 'normal' bikes, I was happily riding the Vespa around the outskirts of Ipoh. Never felt safe riding normal bikes. I feel like they're just too light and flimsy. As for the KE20, my dad loaned it to me when I had my first job way back in 1995. Used to commute in the KE20 from Ampang to Bandar Utama everyday at some ungodly hours for a good part of two years. Did some modifications to the car. Changed the engine to a KE30 engine, changed the rims and tyres, put in a cassette player and new speakers (CD players in cars were unheard of at the time).

So, does that count?

2. How am I like my mother (or motherly figure)?

Again, nothing comes to mind right now. However, when I eventually have kids of my own, I'll do as what she did and just let my kids watch ONLY English TV programs and listen to ONLY English radio stations. Call me biased/snobbish/a*****e/kacang lupakan kulit/whatever-u-want-to-call-me, but I want my kids to grow out of the Malay mentality. Am I anti-Malay? Why do you care? It's my blog anyway... Hint: Mrs Croven, some buttons are being pushed and some strings are being jerked here ;)

3. What fictional character (or mix of characters) depict me?

If I were artistic and creative, I'd make up a character called Cyg and he'd have ALL my characteristics. But as for current fictional or non-fictional characters, I doubt any of them depicts me.

4. What historical figure (or mix of historical figures) I think am I most like?

(insert null-value here. No historical figures in memory database for comparison)

5. If I were a man-made object, what would I be, and why?

I'd be the most cryptic programming language ever created. I'd be sooo cryptic that only my creator understands me and no one else. What's this programming language called? Dunno, it doesn't exist, just like I don't really exist hehhehheh...

6. If I were an animal, what would I be, and why?

I'd love to be a phoenix, just so that my tears can heal others....

7. Who's answers of the above questions would you like to know?

I'm soooo sorry dudette, but you're tagged. Everyone else I know has already been tagged by Psych.

1na - Colours of Life

8 . Who tagged me?

Psych @ Equinox III

And tomorrow I'm going to rant about a very basic courtesy with customer service. Till tomorrow night, au revoir et bonne nuit...

finito...

Been better, but not complainin'

It's the 7th of May 2007, exactly one week since the last post. Last time we saw our hero, he was heading back to his office after his brief visit to the tabib's office. Today, all the antibiotics are gone, as well as the cough medication. But are his fever, cough and sniffles gone too? Let's see how he is, shall we?

The time is 1621 hours. I'm just whiling away, waiting for the punch clock to sing her merry song of freedom... I've finished the work schedule for all my 20 projects for the year, and now it's up to the Procurement Unit to settle the Letter of Awards to the con-sultans and surveyors. I only need to set up a meeting between my boss and the Procurement people sometime this week or next week. Shouldn't be too much trouble, methinks. Anyway, I've been feeling much better since last Friday the 4th. My fever is gone, so are the sniffles... Just this pesky cough that's persisting to linger and punctuate some of my sleeping hours with bouts of coughing. Which, unfortunately, would bring about a bit of sniffles with it for a while, but it will very soon dissipate into the night. So, I guess everything's much better for me. Many Arigato Gozaimasu to Tenma & Minah Celoteh for their well-wishes... Quite surprised to see their comments since they're friends of friends. I knew 1Na, Ayu and Psych put up links to this site on theirs, but never really expected other people would actually come over and read my nonsense. Anyway, like I said, it was a surprise and the surprise was a pleasant one.

Read Ayu's post and left a comment there. I feel thankful that some of us still got "reminders" about life. Although these reminders usually are jarring in nature, at the very least some of us still GET reminders in the first place. So, that's another thing to be thankful for... Friends who get "reminders" and share with others so they too, get "reminded" albeit indirectly...

Sakit lagi

Masuk hari ni dah 11 hari aku sakit... Bukan serius pun, cuma batuk, demam & selsema je. Demam pun on & off jer... My body's taking a beating. Can't complain, this is the lifestyle that I chose for myself.

Last Friday, by the time I got back from the office, aku dah rasa flat semacam... By 8pm, Iwas already asleep... Woke up a few times to answer some sms & YM messages on my phone, but I really don't know if my answers made any sense to the recipients whatsoever since I was far from lucid when sending the replies. Also, I don't even know if I fed the cat properly or not. I might have poured some Friskies onto the cat plate sometime in the night, but then again I might have not done that. It was so bad that when I finally woke up, it was 4pm on Saturday! Well, there goes my guitar lessons down the drain...

Sunday was not much better. Spent almost the whole day sleeping, although I promised myself I'd watch the repeat for "Heroes" since I missed the screening on Wednesday & also the repeat on Saturday. But alas, didn't manage to catch it either. So I guess I'll have to scour the Astro Guide and see if there's a repeat sometime before the new episode goes on air in 2 days time. Failing which, I might have to go online and search for that particular episode to download and watch. I'm not much of a "pirate" when it comes to bootlegging TV shows ormovies, but once in a while I'd do that if all avenues of watching them "legally" goes down the drain. Usually my Achilles' heel is software. God knows how many different programs I've downloaded and installed and tested and uninstalled. Heck, I'd even try out things that I know I'd never use but installed anyway. But I'm digressing here...

Anyway, today I finally went to see a tabib. After getting stabbed at twice by an incompetent-and-equally-unattractive male specimen of a nurse, he finally gave up and called in a petite -and-cute-looking female nurse. I just wonder whether the female nurse was really good at what she did or was it just the sight of her made my veins easier to poke at? (Ayu, if you're reading this, don't say anything because I already know what you're going to say)

After all the "formalities" are done, I was back at the waiting area doing, what else but wait for my turn to see the tabib. So there I was, watching a scary-looking yellow giant of a bird teaching kids how to recite certain words and numbers on TV. Come to think of it, seems like every time I'm at this tabib place, they'd have that so-called children's program called Sesame Street followed by that disturbing piece they call a cartoon by the name Catdog and some nonsensical program hosted by that woman whose-name-escapes-me-at-this-moment and the comedian wannabe Shamsul Ghau-ghau. Again, I digress...

The LCD flashed my ticket number: 3011. So I'm supposed to go to room 48 to see my tabib. Walking there, I was dreading to hear what the tabib might say about my test results a few weeks back. I was half-expecting him/her to be in the room accompanied by two brusque-looking male nurses ready to pounce on me and drag me to the wards for further testing. Instead, there was one very pleasant albeit too-young-to-be-a-specialist female tabib sitting at her desk looking at the black 17" LCD monitor. Hmmm... no male nurses hiding in the corners? This might not be too bad at all, methinks...

I didn't even have time to anchor my big butt on the chair when she asked me how I was. So I told her that I've been coughing and wheezing and sniffling and feverish for 11 days. Immediately she whisked out her stethoscopes from her left coat pocket and proceeded to put the immensely cold metal thingy (mind you, I was fully-clothed at the time and the coldness still bit at my chest and back!) at different spots of my torso. After several seconds of inhaling and exhaling, she finally sat back and peered at my records on screen and in my little beige book. She told me that my cough is not a cause for worry. Furthermore, the test I did a few weeks back showed a general improvement in my condition. "But doctor, my blood pressure is dropping like hell and I'm sick. Shouldn't it be sky-rocketing by now?" said I. She flashed a perfectly reassuring smile and said, "Don't worry, some people react differently to illness. For some, their BP goes up while others see a reduction in their BP. But if you're worried that your BP is going down too much, then I can reduce your medications accordingly. As it is, the medications are doing what they're supposed to do. Anyway, the ultimate goal is for us to ensure you totally get off any medications whatsoever, right?" ending it again with a perfect smile.

She proceeded to show me my test statistics since I first came there five months ago. Yes, generally there HAS been a marked improvement. Heck, there's even one test where I've gone off the danger zone from 3mg to just 1.5mgs (thought I shall not elaborate what test this was for). At this rate, logic dictates that I'll be back to normal by the end of the year. But alas, sadly when it comes to illnesses, logic doesn't cut it, right?

So, armed with an arsenal of medications, I headed back to the office with the hope of being free from the sniffles and coughing. But we'll see how it goes, shall we?

Tag

Ayu tagged me, so here goes:

Layer One: On the Outside
Name: Hey, I'm Incognito.
Birthdate: Hari Polis tahun 1972
Current status: Coughing, feverish and almost naked
Eye color: Dark brown
Hair Color: Wish I could say totally black, but alas... my age is catching up with my hair
Righty or Lefty: Righty, I think. But Psych said I'm actually ambidextrous

Layer Two: On the Inside
My heritage: haven't achieved World Heritage status yet
My fears: Losing my memory, which is currently happening even right now.
My Weaknesses: Internet
My perfect pizza: Dude, there's no such thing as perfection in this world

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My thoughts first thing when I wake up: Darn! The cat wants to be fed again!
My bedtime: Anything between 1900 to 0700
My most missed memory: No idea. Memory's bust.

Layer Four: My picks
Pepsi or Coke: Used to be Coke, but I don't drink carbonated drinks anymore
Mc Donald's or Burger King: Mc Donald's definitely
Single or Group Dates: Group dates have the potential to be fun, but also annoying
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Tea or Nestea: Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappucino or Coffee: Coffee

Layer Five: Do I
Smoke: I wish I could all the time
Curse: Not verbally
Take a shower: when I feel like it
Have a crush: yeah
Think I've Been In love: "Think" being the operative word here, yes.
Go to school: My whole life's a school
Want to get married: Not worth the headache
Believe in myself: Most of the time.
Think I'm a health freak: No way!

Layer Six: In the past month
Drank alcohol: Nope
Gone to the mall: Yeah
Been on stage: Nope
Eaten Sushi: Nope
Dyed your hair: Nope

Layer Seven: Have I ever
Played a stripping game: Nope
Changed who I am to fit in: I think so. But like I said, my memory's bust now, so I can't remember.

Layer Eight: Age
I am hoping to be married: Refer item 7, layer 5.

Layer Nine: What was I doing
1 min ago: Doing this tag
1 hour ago: Surfing
4.5 hours ago: On my way to Bangi
1 month ago: Having teh tarik at Mon't Kiara
1 year ago: Memory's bust

Layer Ten: Finish The Sentence
I love: having lots of money to spend
I feel: miserable with this cough and runny nose
I hate: talking to people
I hide: secrets
I need: more sleep

Layer Eleven: Tag 5 people
This part I can't complete. Read on to know why...

I TAG YOU PEOPLE!
1. 1na - sorry, you're the only one I know who has a blog that hasn't been tagged yet

*** finito

Logical chaos

Know what, i think i'm going to use this blog as a platform to vent my anger to all those stoopid people out there doing their stoopid stuff. For instance, what do you make of this image below? (excuse my drawing... i'm no photoshop expert)



I come across this image almost every working day. Or rather, I drive over the image almost every working day. They're the markers imprinted on the road that I use to go to work, and they're just before a cross junction with traffic lights.

To me, the visual instructions are simple enough: The left and middle lanes are for those who wish to drive on straight while the right lane are for those who intend to turn right. Simple, ain't it? And since I tend to accelerate from 0 to at least 60 in under 5 seconds (in a car, not on a bathroom scale mind you!) I tend to take the middle lane when stopping at the traffic light.

However....

there are these stoopid people who intend to turn right, but insist on taking the middle lane. These stoopid people are usually those queue cutters who do not want to join the queue at the right lane (the queue tends to be quite long during morning rush hour) and instead opt to take the middle lane and overtake those who have been patiently waiting at the right lane. These ***insert whatever expletives that comes to mind right about here*** invariably will get stuck behind me when the lights for right-turning becomes green and I can't continue to drive straight. Then these ***insert even more colourful expletives that comes to mind here*** would get irritated and will either:
1. flash their car lights to me;
2. honk "politely" at first, then blaringly when I refuse to budge; or
3. just wait patiently for MY lights to turn green so they can inch forward.

I usually tolerate number 1 and 3 (hold on, what's to tolerate if they just wait patiently then?) but those who choose option 2 will eventually get on MY nerves. I mean, why honk at me when it's their stoopidity that put them in their predicament in the first place? So, after almost 3 years of putting up with number 2, this week I decided to fight back. The first instance happened last Monday. There was this orange Gen.2 with a brusque-looking man at the wheel. He didn't honk "politely" but chose to go at me full-strength. So guess what I did: I got out of the car, walked next to the straight-pointing arrow on the road, pointed at my eyes, pointed at his eyes, then pointed at the arrow, then gestured that the lane was for those going forward, not to the right. He stopped honking at me and tried to manoeuver into the right lane, but instead was honked by the oncoming cars already waiting patiently at the right lane. So eventually he has to wait until MY lights were green and I drove off before inching forward, waiting for his lights to change...

The second incident was just this morning. The same thing happened, just that this time it was a lady driver, very mak Datin looking, in a champagne-gold Merc honking. So I did exactly the same thing, with added gestures of:

1. pointing at her;
2. pointing at my right temple; and
3. gesturing which roughly connotes that she didn't have brains.

At this point, she stopped honking at me and just waited quietly in her car, not even attempting to cut into the right lane.

People are sooooo stoopid sometimes... That's why I like machines better most of the time...

Stoopid joke

I got this joke from a colleague the other day. Just thought i'd share it with u...

*** Begin stoopid joke ***

The wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband. Knowing her birthday was coming up shortly, she said to her husband: "Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds! And I would prefer a blue one!"

Happy and excited she was counting the days to her birthday.

And on the day she finally got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought....










Scroll Down......














































*** End stoopid joke ***

My VisualDNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Incessant Ramblings

I'm bored... Not that I don't have anything to do. Memang ada benda yang nak kena buat, but most of the things I need to do dah siap. Skarang tengah tunggu ICT install Microsoft Project on my PC before I can continue. My room's too cold, but since it's centralised, can't do much about it except put on extra layers of clothing. Smalam aku gi Levi's store nak cari seluar Dockers, tapi they didn't have the colour and size that I want. Nak cari seluar hitam size 33, tapi yang ada hitam size 36 & 38. Depa ingat orang kat Putrajaya ni semua terlebih makan kot? Anyway, aweks seksi yang dok mengekor aku je ke mana aku gi tu suggest aku gi KLCC kalau nak seluar yang aku mintak tuh, tapi tak kosa la aku nak drive ke sana. Bukannyer takleh, tapi sajer malas nak ke KL especially after office hours. Tapi kalau kebosanan aku memuncak jugak, maybe malam ni aku gi la kot.

My wireless router aku hanto balik ke kedai sbb takleh pakai. Depa kata it'll take at least 3 weeks to repair sebab depa hantar direct ke Netgear untuk check & repair as needed. Mengamuk aku sat kat kedai tuh, takkan la aku tak dapat pakai wireless for the next 3 weeks. So depa kata call la Netgear kalau nak cepat. So smalam aku pun call la Netgear nak tanya status router tuh... rupa-rupanya Netgear's policy is 1-to-1 replacement as long as it's still under warranty. Lagi la aku nak mengamuk balik kat kedai tuh, sebab bila aku mintak replacement unit sementara my router is being fixed, depa tak nak bagi. Ni bila Netgear sendiri kata I should've gotten a new unit immediately, lagi la rasa darah aku tergaram (darah masin la, takkan nak kata tersirap lak!). So aku call balik kedai tuh... dia still insist tak nak bagi new unit, suruh Netgear call balik depa lak. Dia kata kalau aku still tak puas hati, suruh aku call HQ depa. Aku pun call la HQ kedai tuh, marah2 kat amoi yang menjawab talipon tuh... last-last dia kata dia akan check balik dengan distributor Netgear and will inform me hari nih... Tadi bila aku call balik, dia kata the distributor tu akan hantar my unit tu back to me on Saturday, seems the IP on the router dah tertukar... karut la, mana ada aku menukar IP router tu. Aku kata the problem was power supply to router tu intermitten... kejap on, pastu padam, pastu on balik... ada ke patut sebab IP tertukar leh buat power terputus-putus? logik planet mana yang dia pakai pun aku tak tau... tapi dia kata confirm router aku tuh dah boleh pakai bila aku ambik nanti. So aku pun ambik la recently. Ingatkan nak dapat yang my "repaired" unit. Tapi bila dia bagi satu kotak baru, unsealed, so benarlah apa yang Netgear kata and depa nih memang sajer nak membohong jer... That's Malaysian-style customer "service" for you...

S&P rumah aku lak aku gi sign hari Sabtu 2 weeks back... dia janji akan stamping etc & aku leh dapat balik on Thursday... bila aku call dia kata tak siap lagi, suruh aku datang Jumaat lak... bila call Jumaat, kata tak siap lagi... call hari Sabtu, pun tak siap.... call hari Ahad, takde jugak... dia janji Isnin nak call aku balik, tapi baru tadi dia call kata aku finally leh ambik the S&P.... (#)%@!@^$^#%()^($(*(%@*)_!~@*&

A few days back aku gi dinner ngan my ex-roommate. Dah lama tak jumpa dia... nampaknya dia still maintain... cuma kali ni 1st time aku dengar dia komplen pasal kerja dia... got to know some distubring news about Malaysia's current conditions... nothing shocking, as I've already expected some of the things yang dia kata... just that the words coming out of his mouth tu was the confirmation to my fears. suddenly, i don't feel so safe anymore... the nagging worry that was eating away at the back of my mind tu dah suddenly reared its ugly mug, and like I said, now I'm worried...

Ya Allah, selamatkanlah kami semua dari bahaya yang nyata dan bahaya yang tersembunyi...

Adoilaaa.... sakitnya gigi...

Hari Sabtu baru nih aku gi dentist, nak cabut gigi geraham bongsu yang tumbuh lari alignment... dia tumbuh menyenget sampai gigi sebelahnya tu dah terpecah sikit... so my dentist pun suggest aku cabut jer gigi geraham bongsu aku tu, walaupun there's nothing wrong with it... mulanya malas nak cabut, sebab aku dah pernah cabut gigi geraham bongsu on the right side of my mouth tu... masa tu kena minor surgery, the dentist terpaksa belah my gusi sbb akar gigi tuh bentuk anchor... kalau cabut biasa jer, dia akan tarik sekali akar gigi sebelahnya tuh... bila aku kenang balik the procedure done tuh, ngeri sungguh aku nak cabut kali nih...

*** flashback***
yang dulu tu dia belahnya my gums... ingat lagi camner the dentist tuh pakai goggles and how my blood was spraying onto her coat, mask & goggles... pastu kena stitch la pulak my gums to seal up the gaping hole in my mouth... dah la masa tu bulan puasa, lepas cabut gigi lak aku kena berjalan around half kilometer to the nearest bus stop to wait for minibus number 12 utk bawak aku balik ke bangsar... dengan panas teriknya, dengan puasanya... dah la tunggu bas lama, bila bas sampai lak, tak dapat tempat duduk so had to stand all the way till sampai bangsar... sampai situ lak, kena jalan lagi around 300 meters balik ke asrama... sampai jer kat asrama, aku terus tido.... masa berbuka, my roommates kata puas la depa cuba kejutkan aku tapi aku tak bangun2 jugak... so i ended up sleeping from around 3pm till 10am the next day... dengan tak berbukanya, dengan tak sahurnya, aku gagah jugak puasa the next day tuh sbb malas nak bayar balik posa... at the very least, I got 4 days of MC even though the dentist offer nak bagi a week.

***flashforward***
anyway, back to the present time, bila dentist tuh kata kena cabut the left geraham bongsu, reluctantly aku setuju la jugak... mostly sebab aku rasa kali ni aku lebih bersedia, dengan dah makan + tak posa + tak payah naik bas... tapi bila the dentist check and kata kena belah, aku dah saspen semacam jer... tapi dia kata dia akan belah the tooth and not the gums... lega sket rasanya hati biler dengar dia kata camtu... so we went ahead with the procedure... Alhamdulillah, after about 15 minutes into the procedure, the tooth finally came out... and when she showed me the extracted tooth, I couldn't believe my eyes... besarnya!!! but it didn't feel that big when it was extracted... maybe due to the anesthesia administered kot... anyway, as of now I'm short of another tooth, but maybe it's all for the best la kot... kalau tak, most probably in a couple of years' time my actual molar yang kena cabut if the geraham bongsu continued its ascend...asalnya lepas cabut tuh aku nak gi hantar kereta untuk check my brakes, tapi i decided against it... aku pun terus balik rumah... and since the dentist said I shouldn't lie on my back at least until the bleeding stopped, aku pun bukak la laptop cari info on how to accelerate the clotting of the bleeding wound. basically all the articles I found told of the same procedures: don't lie down, keep biting on the gauze, don't spit/sneeze/smoke/use a straw yadda yadda yadda..... so aku pun terpaksa la berjaga nak tunggu bleeding berhenti....by 12 midnight, the bleeding still hasn't stopped... tapi aku dah expect sbb in my research I found out extraction of geraham bongsu usually would be followed by bleeding for around 24 hours... risau gak aku sbb the gauze yang the dentist gave to dah habis more than half... but Alhamdulillah by 5am, the bleeding seemed to have subsided dramatically... so aku pun masuk la tido with a new gauze in place and elevated my upper torso with extra pillows... Sunday morning when I woke up, the gauze I used was only slightly stained. lepas subuh, aku pun sambung balik tido. ingatkan nak tido sampai around 9 or ten, tapi bila I eventually woke up it was already 1.30pm! anyway, aku pun bangun la mandi & bersiap2 nak gi alamanda sbb perut dah menjerit2 mintak untuk diisi... by 3.30 pm, exactly 24 hours after the tooth was extracted, I had my first meal... aku belasah 2 servings of large McD porridge and 2 strawberry milkshakes... baru la perut aku tak bising-bising lagi dah... incidently, I bought 4 packets of instant porridge, 2 cartons of dutch lady strawberry milk and an extra set of strawberry milkshake... baru la cerah sket nampaknya dunia nih... kalau tak aku dok berYM ngan Chah pun aku tak paham apa yang dia cakap walaupun benda yg dia cakap tuh simple je... so I spent the rest of the day generating rainbow tables untuk a password hacking program I'm trying to compile... but that is a different story altogether... ;)

Jiwang karat

right now i'm feeling melancholic... and these three songs are creating a ruckus in my mind, playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ... well, u get my drift, don't u?

... waktu terasa semakin berlalu tinggalkan cerita tentang kita akan tiada lagi kini tawamu 'tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

ada cerita tentang aku dan dia dan kita bersama saat dulu kala ada cerita tentang masa yang indah saat kita berduka, saat kita tertawa

teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama ceritakan semua tentang kita

ada cerita tentang aku dan dia dan kita bersama saat dulu kala ada cerita tentang masa yang indah saat kita berduka, saat kita tertawa ... by Samsons

... setelah kupahami ku bukan yang terbaik yang ada di hatimu tak dapat kusangsikan ternyata dirinyalah yang mengerti kamu bukanlah diriku

kini maafkanlah aku bila ku menjadi bisu kepada dirimu bukan santunku terbungkam hanya hatiku berbatas 'tuk mengerti kamu maafkanlah aku

walau ku masih mencintaimu kuharus meninggalkanmu kuharus melupakanmu meski hatiku menyayangimu nurani memerlukanmu kuharus merelakanmu

dan hanyalah dirimu yang mampu memahamiku yang dapat mengerti aku ternyata dirinyalah yang sanggup menyanjungmu yang ramah menyentuhmu bukanlah diriku

walau ku masih mencintaimu kuharus meninggalkanmu kuharus melupakanmu meski hatiku menyayangimu nurani memerlukanmu kuharus merelakanmu ... i like the one sung by anuar zain better than the original artiste. there's more soul to it.

and finally ...

... kumengerti perpisahan ini bukan kerana kau membenci tapi kasih yang pernah kuberi tiada lagi bersama seringkala aku terlihatkanmu impian nan indah bersulam bahagia

kuharungi hari demi hari bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali tapi hati masih tak terima ditinggalkan sengsara

keraguan ini bukanlah padamu perasaan hati masih rindu kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
tercari-cari bayanganmu tak sanggup aku kehilangan ... kehilanganmu

kasih tercari-cari

keraguan ini bukanlah padamu masih tercari-cari bayanganmu tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu ...

so many meanings at so many levels...