35 years, 2 months and 4 days after I was born, I came to realise something that never really occurred to me before: I hate losing. Strange as it might seem, the fact remains that I never realised this before. True, at school I got irked whenever someone beat me in squash (especially when you've played a good two hours in Ramadhan month, only to be beaten) or could hold their breath underwater longer than I could (I used to be able to hold my breath underwater the longest among my classmates, at least until Form Four) or beat me at chess (I never was a good chess player, and I never will be anyway) or stuff like that, but I think it never bothered me before like how it bothers me now whenever I lose in a game or stuff. I guess I have changed a lot since my school days or my college days. Coz last night, I really hated the fact that I lost two games of Magic to the Crovens.
I first learned to play Magic a few weeks ago. At the time, I didn't mind losing, coz hey, you can't expect to be good only after a few games. Our next two Magic meets too were acceptable, as I take it in my stride to me still in the learning curve. But last night, when I was finally comfortable with one particular deck, and when I can safely say that I've managed to somewhat grasp the whole idea of the game, I was beaten by Psych & Mrs. Croven. I was particularly agonised when Mrs. Croven beat me. I was sooooooo sure that I'd win the game. I had two cards in play that seemed to guarantee that each turn, I'd gain life or each opponent's attack would kill them off slowly while adding more life to me. But alas, both cards were pretty useless with the tactic employed by Mrs. Croven. And it bugs me so, that I didn't win.
But that was last night. What bugged me last night was the fact that I lost the games. What bugs me today, however, is the realisation that I hate losing. The realisation that I have this competitive streak in me which directly affects my mood when I lose at something. Because to me, a little competitive spirit is okay... but not to the extent of keeping me awake half the night, going thru a play-by-play of what went wrong. That... that's just not healthy. Coz a game is supposed to be just that: a game. Something to promote fun, interaction and camaraderie among friends and players. Unless of course if there's a USD $10,000 cash prize at stake, then it's a different ballgame altogether.
Anyway, if you're reading this, Psych & Mrs. Croven, just ignore it. I've just got issues to deal with. I enjoyed the game, just didn't like the losing part :(
I first learned to play Magic a few weeks ago. At the time, I didn't mind losing, coz hey, you can't expect to be good only after a few games. Our next two Magic meets too were acceptable, as I take it in my stride to me still in the learning curve. But last night, when I was finally comfortable with one particular deck, and when I can safely say that I've managed to somewhat grasp the whole idea of the game, I was beaten by Psych & Mrs. Croven. I was particularly agonised when Mrs. Croven beat me. I was sooooooo sure that I'd win the game. I had two cards in play that seemed to guarantee that each turn, I'd gain life or each opponent's attack would kill them off slowly while adding more life to me. But alas, both cards were pretty useless with the tactic employed by Mrs. Croven. And it bugs me so, that I didn't win.
But that was last night. What bugged me last night was the fact that I lost the games. What bugs me today, however, is the realisation that I hate losing. The realisation that I have this competitive streak in me which directly affects my mood when I lose at something. Because to me, a little competitive spirit is okay... but not to the extent of keeping me awake half the night, going thru a play-by-play of what went wrong. That... that's just not healthy. Coz a game is supposed to be just that: a game. Something to promote fun, interaction and camaraderie among friends and players. Unless of course if there's a USD $10,000 cash prize at stake, then it's a different ballgame altogether.
Anyway, if you're reading this, Psych & Mrs. Croven, just ignore it. I've just got issues to deal with. I enjoyed the game, just didn't like the losing part :(
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