Am I Sure This Is Me?

35 years, 2 months and 4 days after I was born, I came to realise something that never really occurred to me before: I hate losing. Strange as it might seem, the fact remains that I never realised this before. True, at school I got irked whenever someone beat me in squash (especially when you've played a good two hours in Ramadhan month, only to be beaten) or could hold their breath underwater longer than I could (I used to be able to hold my breath underwater the longest among my classmates, at least until Form Four) or beat me at chess (I never was a good chess player, and I never will be anyway) or stuff like that, but I think it never bothered me before like how it bothers me now whenever I lose in a game or stuff. I guess I have changed a lot since my school days or my college days. Coz last night, I really hated the fact that I lost two games of Magic to the Crovens.

I first learned to play Magic a few weeks ago. At the time, I didn't mind losing, coz hey, you can't expect to be good only after a few games. Our next two Magic meets too were acceptable, as I take it in my stride to me still in the learning curve. But last night, when I was finally comfortable with one particular deck, and when I can safely say that I've managed to somewhat grasp the whole idea of the game, I was beaten by Psych & Mrs. Croven. I was particularly agonised when Mrs. Croven beat me. I was sooooooo sure that I'd win the game. I had two cards in play that seemed to guarantee that each turn, I'd gain life or each opponent's attack would kill them off slowly while adding more life to me. But alas, both cards were pretty useless with the tactic employed by Mrs. Croven. And it bugs me so, that I didn't win.

But that was last night. What bugged me last night was the fact that I lost the games. What bugs me today, however, is the realisation that I hate losing. The realisation that I have this competitive streak in me which directly affects my mood when I lose at something. Because to me, a little competitive spirit is okay... but not to the extent of keeping me awake half the night, going thru a play-by-play of what went wrong. That... that's just not healthy. Coz a game is supposed to be just that: a game. Something to promote fun, interaction and camaraderie among friends and players. Unless of course if there's a USD $10,000 cash prize at stake, then it's a different ballgame altogether.

Anyway, if you're reading this, Psych & Mrs. Croven, just ignore it. I've just got issues to deal with. I enjoyed the game, just didn't like the losing part :(

Better wages but worse lifestyle, anyone?

I was on my daily morning routine of reading up on friends' writings when I came across Ayu's post regarding the announced pay hike for civil servants. She mentioned that she's green with envy with the hike, and assumed that people like moi are, in her own words, "smiling ear to ear". So, was I really smiling ear to ear? Or did the announcement have absolutely zero impact on me? Or in fact, it had a NEGATIVE impact on me?

Ayu rightly pointed out that civil servants' wages have always been low. Even with this hike, they're still comparatively low. Last night, I had dinner with the Crovens and Psych was quite surprised that I haven't reached 2.5k yet when I told him that I still didn't have to pay income tax for last year. Yes, my pay is still low. Compared to my peers, i.e. in the "ancient" age groups, I'm barely touching 2.5k now while they have surpassed the 5k mark a looong time ago. Heck, one of my friends is even chauffeur-driven in his spanking new Beemer while another friend is one of the top guns in Malaysia Airlines. But that is when I'm comparing to one extreme of the range. If I were to compare myself to the other extreme, then I should be thanking my lucky stars that I'm even employed in the first place. But I'm digressing here...

Anyway, my point is this: Civil servants have always had low pay. But expectations on them have been steadily increasing. Right now, civil servants are blasted left, right, centre, front, back, top and bottom. For a "PM who himself was a passionate civil servant during his younger days", he sure isn't cutting any slacks when he bombards civil servants. Way I see it, any weakness in delivery system is NOT solely on the part of civil servants. As in my previous post, the private sector too has to buck up and get in shape. What more since they command a better lifestyle in terms of monetary gains. If you don't agree with me, then consider this incident that happened last week: I was in a whole day meeting, and we engaged this caterer to prepare the food for the meeting. We had lunch & afternoon tea prepared since the meeting started at 0900 and ended at 1900. That's a 10-hour meeting with only break time for lunch and prayers of less than an hour. And guess what the caterer requested from me? They asked whether I could tell the Chairman to finish the meeting by 1730 because they "had to clean up before leaving". So what I said to the caterer was: "Look, if we can work long hours, so can you. We are the paying customer, so you work according to our schedule and not the other way around," (of course, in Malay and not in English.) Come on, people! If the public sector can work long hours, even after the gazetted office hours, why can't the private sector do the same?! Obviously, this doesn't fit into the general public's misconseption that civil servants "only work from 0830 to 1700". And believe me, this is not a one-off thing here. I've experienced more harrowing work conditions in my five years in the public sector as compared to my seven years in the private sector. I never had to work non-stop from 0700 till 0200, then wake up and start all over again when I was in the private sector. I never had to work for almost 20-straight days without a day off when I was in the private sector. I never had to only sleep 3 days at home while the rest of the month spent staying in multiple states. I never was expected to give an impromptu speech to a villageful of people expecting gems coming out of my mouth. (btw, I'm an extreme introvert by nature, as categorised by some psychological test online somewhere that I did.) Heck, the worst "public speaking" experience I had to go through was when I was a reporter for a local tv station when I had to do what they call as a "stand-upper". Even then, I just had to say something in front of the camera and I can redo it over and over again until I was satisfied. Again, I digress...

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is the pay hike is justified to SOME in the public sector. SOME of us are working our a$$ off, putting in long hours, getting high-blood pressure in the process. All for wages that I consider as measly at best. So the pay hike IS some sort of consolation to SOME of us. That is why I'm not smiling from ear to ear... because to me, we deserved it in the first place. You might not agree with me but that's how I see it anyway... The only people who MIGHT be smiling from ear to ear are those who DON'T deserve it in the first place. People who actually clock in just the minimum hours expected of them, slack off in their work but get by just fine coz they're buddies with the bosses. I don't blame them. Slackers will always be around, no matter in whatever culture or in whatever race or in whatever country. The people I DO blame are the bosses. Because they let these slackers off without so much of a warning, reprimand or gentle reminder. But that's a different story altogether...

Furthermore, I'm NOT smiling ear to ear because of the fact also mentioned by Ayu. The simple fact that traders will, and in fact, HAVE raised their prices waaay back from even before the pay hike was announced. Let's just do some simple basic calculations here. Example: (and I DO stress on the word EXAMPLE here) say flour prices have increased by 15 sen a kg. In turn, roti canai sellers increase the price of roti canai from 80 sen to 85 sen. For every roti canai he sells, he gets an extra 5 sen to offset the 15 sen flour price increase. So, in theory, after he sells 3 roti canais, he's covered his cost for purchasing one kg of flour. But does one kg of flour ONLY produce 3 roti canais? Does it produce 6? 9? 12? I don't know, you tell me. (I mean, I REALLY don't know how many roti canais can be produced using one kg of flour, this is NOT just a rhetoric question.) But let's just say for argument's sake that a kg of flour makes just ten roti canais although I highly doubt that. This means that using one kg or flour, he can make 10 roti canais x 85 sen per piece => 50 sen extra income - 15 sen flour price increase = 35 sen extra profit. Is this logical? Why does a 15 sen per kg flour price increase inadvertently translates to extra profit for the sellers but thousands of ringgit loss to consumers who buy roti canai everyday? If one seller were to sell just 100 roti canais a day, he's making a cool profit of RM3.50 per day. That is assuming that he just increased the price by 5 sen instead of the normal practice of increasing it in 10-sen increments. Maybe it's not much for one person, but for 100 sellers? 1,000? What about consumers' loss? Multiply that 1,000 sellers by 100 roti canais a day and multiply it further by 5 (or 10) sen, what do you get? That's a RM5k (or RM10k) loss of income, just because of a 15 sen flour price increase. And that, my friends, is just one item's price increase. Take into account if 10 items just got dearer. Or a hundred. Or 500 items. What does it do to the economy? Well, more money circulating in the market, obviously. A healthy economy, you might add. But is it something that will make me smile ear to ear? I seriously doubt so...

Customer (Dis)Service

Everybody appreciates good service, even those who work in the service industry themselves. But why is it that sometimes, they forget their reasons for existence in their organisations in the first place? Why is it that since their work is to serve customers, they fail to realise that their actions are continuously appraised not only by their supervisors but also by the customers they serve? Case in point as follows:

I went to Alamanda yesterday during lunchtime. A friend of mine was in the area and called me up for a lunch date. So all was well and dandy until we parted ways. He needed to go to KL while I had to go back to the office. But before I went back, I snuck into Carrefour to get some toiletries as well as to get the free parking. Since I didn't get many things, I went straight to the "10 items or less" or express lane queue. The normal registers had only one or two people in queue, but they were buying lots of stuff while the express lane had four people in the queue. I had two items, which I put on the counter just as the person in front of me was finished paying for his purchase. The guy behind me, who happens to be a Carrefour off-duty staff, had only one item, which he too put on the counter behind my stuff. Imagine my surprise and annoyance when the cashier nonchalantly took the Carrefour staff's purchase and continued to ring it into the register. I looked at him and asked, "Kenapa ambik barang customer belakang padahal saya dok ada kat depan?". To which, he replied a volcanic-eruption-inducing reply, "Tak apalah, satu je..." At this point, the customer-behind-me-whose-purchase-had-been-registered started to apologise to me. Which I thought was unnecessary, because it wasn't him who cut the queue but rather the cashier who chose to cut MY queue to attend to his colleagues purchase. "Okay," I said to myself, "don't let this get to you... Just let it go,.." all the while thinking that the cashier will apologise to me after seeing that his colleague doing so.

Guess what... he didn't say a thing... He just rung up my purchase, took my money, gave me the correct change and receipt and that was it! I stood there for a good 10 seconds looking at him, and he just pretended as if I were invisible. This is too much, so I went to the customer service counter and said that I wanted to lodge a complain against the cashier. I was referred to a supervisor and I related the incidence to her. So she gave me a form to fill up. While I was filling up the form, she stood next to me, all the while looking intently at what I was writing and effectively ignoring the chatter coming out of her walkie-talkie. Once I was done, I handed the form to her, to which she apologised on behalf of Carrefour and promised that such incidences would not be repeated in the future. Yeah, right... We'll just see... Maybe tomorrow I'll go there again to follow up on what (in)action will be taken in response to my lodged complain...

Why am I so pissed? Read my earlier post, especially my answer on Item 2 of the tag. Although many would retaliate in defense to what I would label as Malay mentality, these isolated incidences are the ones that give a bad impression to Malays. You see, I've seen and even experienced similar occurrences before, like the time when also at the express lane, some (Malay) idiots bring a trolleyful of stuff which were CLEARLY more than 10 items into the queue. When I gently reminded them that the lane was for customers making small purchases, they (the supposedly berbudi-bahasa, berhemah tinggi bangsa) just ignored me. But to further rub in salt to wound, even the (Malay) cashiers wouldn't dare say anything to them! And the same thing happened after that. Again, a (Malay) lady got into the queue with a basket filled to the brim. Again, this self-appointed promoter of justice pointed out the nature of the lane to this lady. This time she said, "Maaf ye, akak nak cepat ni". To which, this (Chinese) cashier said, "Maaf ye puan, baris ni untuk pembelian tak melebihi 10 barang saja. Puan boleh masuk queue sebelah sana," gesturing to the normal lane. Seeing that I had an ally on my side, the dejected lady mumbled something under her breath (which I don't give a damn anyway to whatever she might be saying) and parked her spot at the end of a longer queue.

Why do I have to relate these stories? Am I saying that the Malays are a useless bunch of people that I seemingly am prepared to denounce any association to them? Or am I just a sod who thinks too highly of other races? Does that make me an anti-racist, reason being I'm as if bashing my own race? Or maybe, just maybe... I want us to become better people instead? Maybe I want us to get out of the safety of the Bumiputera cocoon and see the world as it really is, a world where only the strongest will survive? A world where customers are increasingly aware of their rights and are no longer afraid to stand up for them? A service industry that really delivers what they're supposed to deliver? Think about it for a moment. Am I really doing what I seem to be doing? Am I really saying what I seem to be saying? To those of you keen on coming to the defense of the Malays, by all means do so. But please, I plead you. Think long-term, think survival, think of people's ever-rising expectations. Think of basic customer service, of some simple common sense?

Psych's Tag

Last night I went out for dinner with Mr. & Mrs. Croven at Secret Recipe Jusco Equine Park. As luck would have it, they chose the exact same seat I was at, the first time I came to Jusco Equine Park. Sat at the same seat, had a similar view of the happenings outside. Brought back memories I didn't want to remember. Nonetheless, had a great time talking about anything and everything, both about the corporeal world and in blogosphere. We also reminisced about old times and old friends, but being the feeble-minded simpleton that I am, most of the time I was left with a blurred expression on my face for I couldn't recall many of the people nor incidences that were discussed.

Anyway, what surprised me wasn't the whole outing, but what was lurking in the depths of the Internet, waiting to pounce on me when I got back. For when I fired up my trusty Firefox and Psych's site came up, there was a tag that he created. Little did I realise that in a couple of moments, I'd be mentioned as one of the people that he intends to agacer with the tag. Oh well, I thought, I'd just do them tomorrow at the office...

So here goes...

1. How am I like my father (or fatherly figure)?

Besides wearing glasses, you mean? I guess there's not many things similar between the two of us. I can list out the things different about us, if you want. For instance, he's religious, I'm not. He's funny around people, I have a sense of humour only a stick would appreciate. He's a good footballer, I have legs of a stool. Oh, you mean I REALLY have to tell you how I'm like my father and not the opposite? Oh, okay... lemme think for a while.... Okay, got it! Both of us love old vehicles. My dad has an old Vespa as well as a vintage Toyota KE20. He loves them both. So do I. That's where we're similar. [Going off on a tangent here:] I first learnt to ride a bike using that Vespa, at the tender age of around 3,650 days old. When others were comfy riding 'normal' bikes, I was happily riding the Vespa around the outskirts of Ipoh. Never felt safe riding normal bikes. I feel like they're just too light and flimsy. As for the KE20, my dad loaned it to me when I had my first job way back in 1995. Used to commute in the KE20 from Ampang to Bandar Utama everyday at some ungodly hours for a good part of two years. Did some modifications to the car. Changed the engine to a KE30 engine, changed the rims and tyres, put in a cassette player and new speakers (CD players in cars were unheard of at the time).

So, does that count?

2. How am I like my mother (or motherly figure)?

Again, nothing comes to mind right now. However, when I eventually have kids of my own, I'll do as what she did and just let my kids watch ONLY English TV programs and listen to ONLY English radio stations. Call me biased/snobbish/a*****e/kacang lupakan kulit/whatever-u-want-to-call-me, but I want my kids to grow out of the Malay mentality. Am I anti-Malay? Why do you care? It's my blog anyway... Hint: Mrs Croven, some buttons are being pushed and some strings are being jerked here ;)

3. What fictional character (or mix of characters) depict me?

If I were artistic and creative, I'd make up a character called Cyg and he'd have ALL my characteristics. But as for current fictional or non-fictional characters, I doubt any of them depicts me.

4. What historical figure (or mix of historical figures) I think am I most like?

(insert null-value here. No historical figures in memory database for comparison)

5. If I were a man-made object, what would I be, and why?

I'd be the most cryptic programming language ever created. I'd be sooo cryptic that only my creator understands me and no one else. What's this programming language called? Dunno, it doesn't exist, just like I don't really exist hehhehheh...

6. If I were an animal, what would I be, and why?

I'd love to be a phoenix, just so that my tears can heal others....

7. Who's answers of the above questions would you like to know?

I'm soooo sorry dudette, but you're tagged. Everyone else I know has already been tagged by Psych.

1na - Colours of Life

8 . Who tagged me?

Psych @ Equinox III

And tomorrow I'm going to rant about a very basic courtesy with customer service. Till tomorrow night, au revoir et bonne nuit...

finito...

Been better, but not complainin'

It's the 7th of May 2007, exactly one week since the last post. Last time we saw our hero, he was heading back to his office after his brief visit to the tabib's office. Today, all the antibiotics are gone, as well as the cough medication. But are his fever, cough and sniffles gone too? Let's see how he is, shall we?

The time is 1621 hours. I'm just whiling away, waiting for the punch clock to sing her merry song of freedom... I've finished the work schedule for all my 20 projects for the year, and now it's up to the Procurement Unit to settle the Letter of Awards to the con-sultans and surveyors. I only need to set up a meeting between my boss and the Procurement people sometime this week or next week. Shouldn't be too much trouble, methinks. Anyway, I've been feeling much better since last Friday the 4th. My fever is gone, so are the sniffles... Just this pesky cough that's persisting to linger and punctuate some of my sleeping hours with bouts of coughing. Which, unfortunately, would bring about a bit of sniffles with it for a while, but it will very soon dissipate into the night. So, I guess everything's much better for me. Many Arigato Gozaimasu to Tenma & Minah Celoteh for their well-wishes... Quite surprised to see their comments since they're friends of friends. I knew 1Na, Ayu and Psych put up links to this site on theirs, but never really expected other people would actually come over and read my nonsense. Anyway, like I said, it was a surprise and the surprise was a pleasant one.

Read Ayu's post and left a comment there. I feel thankful that some of us still got "reminders" about life. Although these reminders usually are jarring in nature, at the very least some of us still GET reminders in the first place. So, that's another thing to be thankful for... Friends who get "reminders" and share with others so they too, get "reminded" albeit indirectly...